SDIT plans Father's Day 2010

SDIT plans a Father's Day gathering for 2010! Our hope is to gather survivors from several organizations from all wars. Volunteers muster!

Gold Star Council founded!

SDIT has joined with other survivor's groups to form a new Gold Star Council. The mission (paraphrased from the Council's statement): to unify the groups’ voices and shared concerns on issues affecting Gold Star and Prisoner-of-War/Missing-in-Action (POW/MIA) family members and the organizations that represent them. The Gold Star Council is comprised of parents, spouses, children and other family members who have lost loved ones in America’s military conflicts—from World War II to today’s Global War on Terror. The Council represents a broad and diverse membership of more than one million people from organizations such as:

•American Gold Star Mothers (founded in 1928);
•Gold Star Wives of America (founded in 1945);
•National League of POW/MIA Families (founded in 1970);
•Sons and Daughters In Touch (founded in 1990);
•American World War II Orphans Network (founded in 1991);
•Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (founded in 1994);
•White House Commission on Remembrance (established by Congress in 2000);
•Snowball Express (founded in 2005); and
•Families United (founded in 2005).

This is most wonderful! This Council has the potential to mitigate so much of the pain and suffering I documented in my research project (see sidebar). Thanks to Tony Cordero of SDIT for organizing this Council gathering!

Note from Vet Vernon

This from Vet Vernon, who found my website through an unusual search:

Dear Stacy,

I'm an occasional talk show radio host on KSCO AM 1080 in Santa Cruz California and I happened to have the privilege of hosting the Memorial Day Saturday Special on Saturday May 23, 2009. At the end of that show, one of my guests (from ex-special forces) pulled out about 5 Montenyard bracelets, took one, placed it on my wrist, and said, "there, as you know, once you're given one of these, you can never take it off." As I looked at the bracelet, I felt honored to have it given to me as I journeyed back many years in my mind to my days in Vietnam, my 2 tours in Vietnam. I also thought of a good friend from those days that had just recently looked me up and contacted me and, who had done a film documentary on the Montenyards (the forgotten people of Vietnam and Cambodia) in the mid 90's. I requested, and was given, a Montenyard bracelet that I will send to him." The documentary is available for viewing via streaming video at:

http://www.dpi.state.nc.us/distancelearning/classroom/documentaries.html#living

Just search for, and click on "Living in Exile" on that page.

Vernon then searched Google: Montenyard and my footnote.com page was the first reference. I had posted photos of the Montenyard village in Cambodia where dad's 20th SOS was stationed. While I wish there was more information online about the Montenyards (US allies who were victims of Pol Pot after the US left Cambodia), I'm glad Vernon found the website.

Then Vernon wrote: "On this Memorial day, May 25, 2009, please accept my condolences for the loss of your father at such a young age, a young age for both of you actually, and know that, in my humble opinion, he did not die in vain. He died saving the lives of others and for that they owe him a debt of gratitude."

Thanks for your kind message, Vernon!

Dad's Memorial Page on the Virtual Wall

The folks at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund accepted my dad's memorial page. Thanks so much! I love getting notes from vets who find my dad's pages online; the new Virtual Wall remembrance pages will enhance communication and connections! View the page here: http://www.thevirtualwall.org/index.cfm?sectionID=110&anClip=220028

SDIT Event s Update

Some upcoming events (from SDIT Legacies eUpdate May 2009): Memorial Day at ‘the Wall’: the annual Memorial Day ceremony at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, 1PM (EST) on Monday, May 25.

TAPS Good Grief Camp:”What is SDIT doing to help the ‘sons and daughters’ of today?”

Last year, SDIT members from across the country helped deliver a panel discussion about the realities of raising – and being – a surviving Gold Star child. If you plan to be in the Washington, DC-area over Memorial Day weekend and are interested in helping with this program, contact Colleen Shine at : ccshine@comcast.net. A link to the program information: www.taps.org/events

Father’s Day at ‘the Wall’: The 2009 Father’s Day ‘Rose for Remembrance’ ceremony will be held Sunday June 21. SDIT members and their families are invited to attend and help place roses at the base of each panel on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. For more information, contact board@sdit.org or visit http://www.vvmf.org/index.cfm?SectionID=19

SDIT is planning a larger Father's Day gathering at the Wall in 2010!

Lifting Media Ban on Fallen Soldiers

Watch Bonnie Carroll discuss the lifting of the media ban on returning fallen soldiers. Thank You, Bonnie! And thanks to the DOD for listening to TAPS grief professionals while drafting their new policy.

SDIT on Facebook!

Sons and Daughters in Touch is now on Facebook! What a great idea! Already a couple of people who had been seeking fellowship found us.

Note from Vet Gary

Dear Stacy,

I belong to an Air Force website called AFTWS, or Air Force Together We Served. One of the privileges of belonging to such a website is to honor our Fallen Brothers. I am a former Security Policeman, Sgt. Gary Banzhoff, and I have the honor of preparing a "Remembrance Profile" for your Father. I do this with love and respect. Though I never had the pleasure of meeting your Dad, he will always remain a "Brother Airman". This is a bond that many who have never served can fathom.


I have included a link to your Dad's profile, not only for you to view, but perhaps help me make corrections where needed, or fill in some blanks.

I am deeply saddened by your family's loss. Your Dad's memory will be kept alive in the hearts and minds of you, your family and his AF Brothers in perpetuity.

Sincerely

Gary

http://airforce.togetherweserved.com/usaf/servlet/tws.webapp.WebApps?cmd=PublicProfile&type=Person&ID=81666

Gary, I salute you! Thanks so much for your tribute. My family loves it!

Note from Nadia, sister of deceased vet

Nadia sent me a touching note. Nadia's brother, James Thomas, was lost with my father when their chopper crashed in the river. Thomas was the pararescue jumper on board the helicopter. Thomas was seen swimming to enemy shore, but was never found. Nadia will visit the Wall in DC this May. As she said, she has "a few pictures and memories, but that is all" of her brother. We know how you feel, Nadia.

Note from Vet Kurt

Hello,

My name is Kurt Tschuor and I reside in Muncie, Indiana. I am a retired USAF flight engineer (HH-3/HH-53/C-130), and was proud to read your statements regarding your father. Our condolences to your loss.

I was moved by your description of his return from Vietnam, and his behavior that was entwined to his tour. I too had similar actions, and can certainly relate. Time has certain actions that can provide a positive lifestyle, and for me it was to learn acceptance of "family first", and "brother's combined". You see, I had a very hard time distinguishing between the two. Half of me wanted to be there for my family, but I just couldn't get the thought out of my mind that I needed to be somewhere else. I adjusted, but it was a long and hard endeavor.

You father was and IS a hero! His dedication is evident through his decorations, and his love for his family is that he came home for that short visit.

All of our love,

The Tschuor Family
Muncie, Indiana

Thanks, Kurt. Your words mean more than I can say.

Note from Vet Jerry

Vet Jerry Austin found my blog and wrote that he remembered my dad in country. Jerry said he was 19 years old and worked as crew chief on the gunships for the 20th SOS. He remembered my dad as being tall and good at softball. Jerry writes:

"You should always be proud of your father as he did what he believed to be the right thing as did many others."

Amen to that! Thanks, Jerry.

Note from Vet "cokecop"

I just got this email from "cokecop@aol.com" He read my entry on the Virtual Wall:

"From one of the survivors of Viet Nam, your entry and story of your dad was inspiring to read. Thanks for writing it. Viet Nam greatly impacted our generations. Over the years, I've tried to put it all behind me. I lost friends in Nam, as I was assigned to the 179th Assault Support Helicopters in Camp Holloway, Pleiku. US Army. Left as a flight engineer on chinooks. After being back in the "world" one month, I wanted to volunteer to return, so I understand your dad's doing so. I didn't go back, knowing they couldn't guarantee I wouldn't go back to Holloway. I didn't want to return there. Now, due to the Internet, my past is coming back to me.
Sorry your dad had to be one of those who didn't come back."

I am so grateful for the opportunity to hear from so many Vets who have found solace and fellowship through the Internet. Thank You, "cokecop" !

SDIT Member's "Missing In America" project

SDIT member Nina McCoy, the head of the body donation program at Western University, has organized military funerals for the cremated remains of unidentified veterans. Partnering with the national Missing in America Project, which seeks to find the remains of missing Vietnam veterans, she organized proper burials for the created remains of some of these veterans in the Riverside National Cemetery. Reported by David Goldstein for CBS 2 News Los Angeles July 31, 2008.

Nina - I tip my hat to you! What a wonderful and noble project.

HUGSS (Helping Unite Gold Star Survivors)

From the HUGSS website: "HUGSS (Helping Unite Gold Star Survivors) is a non-profit 501c(3) charitable organization with the emphasis of providing needed support to surviving families whether mom, dad, a brother/sister, daughter or son, who have lost their lives as a member of our military. The purpose of the organization is to provide care and services to all families who have suffered the loss of a Soldier, Marine, Airman, Sailor or Guardsman with a primary focus on the Gold Star Families. This includes facilitating support groups, coordinating events, as well as linking families to community resources and services. HUGSS will also be available for community training and serves as a resource for the Military Family."

Uncertain Death/Lingering Grief

Anita Creamer's father was shot down over Vietnam in 1972 and his body was never recovered. Listed as missing for many years, Anita and her family suffered from not knowing if he was dead or alive. My heart goes out to you, Anita, and all families of MIA/POW. At least I had the closure of knowing for sure that my dad was dead.

New Book about How America Honors her Dead

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Jim Sheeler's “Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives" documents the way America honors her war dead. George Will reviews this book in the Washington Post.

Subject of Loss = Unpopular Film

On the last day in May, the original Memorial Day, an article appeared in the San Diego Tribune about the movie, Grace is Gone. The movie is about a family left to deal with the grief of losing a wife/mother/soldier to the Iraq War. This movie never even opened in San Diego, and only played in seven (total!) theatres nationwide. Bad movie or unpopular subject? You decide - the film is available on DVD and features a profile of TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, a program to assist families who've lost a loved one serving in the military).

One Dollar for Every Name on the Wall

The Sons and Daughters in Touch fundraiser, One Dollar for Every Name on the Wall,is in full swing! The campaign’s goal is to raise at least $1 for each of the more than 58,000 names on The Wall to support SDIT and the building of the Vietnam Veterans Education Memorial Center. Sons and Daughters in Touch (SDIT), a national organization of Americans who lost their fathers in the Vietnam War, is teaming up with nationally syndicated radio host Rusty Humphries to raise more than $58,000 for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Center, an educational facility being built by the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.

The SDIT National Radiothon will air May 23, 24 and 26 during the nationally syndicated Rusty Humphries Show on Talk Radio Network. SDIT has pledged to raise $1 for every name on The Wall. Currently, there are 58,260 names.

Read more here.

National Moment of Remembrance

In 2000, Congress passed Public Law 106-579 and created the White House Commission on Remembrance. As the only active White House Commission established by law, this independent government agency's mission is to "encourage Americans to honor the sacrifices of America’s fallen and the families they left behind. It promotes acts of remembrance throughout the year and asks Americans to pay our debt of gratitude in memory of our fallen by giving something back to the Nation. The Commission is also tasked to unite the country in the National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day.

The Commission is dedicated to educating this and future generations of Americans to remember the sacrifices and costs in human life made to preserve our liberties, and to instill in them an understanding of what it means to be an American. This Commission was inspired when schoolchildren who were asked what Memorial Day meant answered "it's the day that pools open!"

Turning Grief Into Art

Artist Tom Hubbard, whose father, Sgt. Thomas P. Kindt (USMC) was killed in Vietnam in 1966, creates wonderful ceramics and art installations from family photos and photos from Vietnam. Turning grief into art is a fantastic, grueling, cathartic activity. His exhibit, SEMPER FIDELIS: How I Met My Father, is a fine-art exhibition which incorporates after-action reports, photos, letters and journal entries. It is the result of Tom’s quest to know his father. Tom traveled across the US and Vietnam on his journey. “The loss of my father in Vietnam has shaped me as a person, a husband, a father and an artist,” Tom said.
SEMPER FIDELIS: How I Met My Father will be on display at the National Museum of the Marine Corps from May 23 through July 7, 2008. The museum is in Quantico, VA – 36 miles south of Washington, DC. For more information, visit www.tomhub.com or www.usmcmuseum.com